Woe-Man
by Kimmo Pronger
Summary: Apollo and Simon have it bad with Athena and Aura. They warn their fellow man to just stay away. These women will drive them insane through their energy, antics, and mind games.


Athena and Aura would be a man's most dreadful nightmare. Apollo and Simon would warn you to stay away. Stay away from having romantic thoughts about them.

Why? Because they are their men, and they absolutely dominate. But it was less about bragging rights that they were dating two beautiful women and more about making the ultimate sacrifice for their fellow men to be spared from having the misfortune of marrying these women.

Energy to get through the day is always important. But it seems like these women are so full of it that they dump that excess energy into making their lives miserable. If two of these women get together, who knows what combined insanity they might pull? We got Aura who knows about Simon's embarrassing childhood moments and Athena who has a talent for picking fights over the most mundane tasks. What happens when you put these things together? They both try and see which one is the more embarrassing man between Simon and Apollo.

Witnesses say that the reason why these two women really have so much energy to spare is because they can sap the energy from Apollo and Simon and feed off of it to give them more.

Good grief. Where do they even begin when describing them on their menstrual cycles respectively? We got Athena punching holes in the walls in the Wright Anything Agency to practice her martial arts and somehow, Apollo has to pay for the damages. Another thing that we have is Aura terrorizing the prosecutor's office to drag Simon to clean up the mess Taka made in her house. She even has Miles Edgeworth at her mercy!

Phoenix Wright grovels beneath Athena's heels while Trucy has no idea that this is happening because she's busy performing. Apollo and Phoenix try to warn her about her dangerous attacks but whenever Athena is in front of Trucy, she acts all sisterly and offers to make her breakfast in the morning! Apollo and Phoenix try to ask for some, but they're immediately met with the scariest leer that makes them melt like butter in hot temperature.

For Simon's part, since Clonco has been shut down and she's not part of the space center anymore, he has to deal with a lot of physical hits from Aura. He can take it physically, but his soul inside is being stabbed with rusty daggers. Why is she hitting Simon? Because she just enrolled in a Karate class and Simon is her training dummy. He would use his sword but how can he turn his blade on his sister? And how can he even do it if he tried when Aura simply hides it in her most private quarters? If she catches Simon trying to get it back, she uses him as a human footstool for the rest of the night as she watches movies without catching a wink until the morning.

They warn men to just obey. Do not fight. Do not talk back. Do not protest. Just obey their every command until it passes.

With Athena and Aura, there is a lot of emphasis with them on not being able to say "no" to them.

Athena will invite herself to parties she feels like attending and then drink all the orange juice there. Aura will impose her presence on the subject of servitude. It is a presence that has even Simon weeping for mercy whenever he sees it.

No use smooth talking with them out of the task being asked to do by them-Athena has her extraordinary hearing and Aura knows every psychotic trick in the book thanks to Metis and Simon (Ironically for the latter).

If they want something done, it will get done. Some people wonder why Aura could not take over the space center with her iron will and lack of mercy. The most consensual answer is that Metis was there to tame her since it was known that she was once very close to her. Now that Metis is out of the picture, Aura is now free to be the humanly beast she was destined to be.

Athena, meanwhile became part of Trucy's little magic tricks…at Apollo's expense. Trucy was the boss of the Wright Anything Agency, so there really was saying "no" to her for Apollo. However, the part that made the process even more torrential for him was that Athena was always suggesting extremities that Trucy agreed to!

Oh, what a world it must be for Apollo and Simon. No escape from the vicious clutches of women that are Athena and Aura.

Apollo and Simon's final warning to men is that marrying them would be like signing the dotted line on your death warrant. If you know either of them via friendship, just be thankful you don't have to deal with them every day. If one of them is your sister, then it's not as bad as being married. If either one of them _is_ your wife, then congratulations. You made the most foolhardy decision in your pathetic life, or you're just suicidal. Though, the latter is more likely.

Athena and Aura. Two women that'll be the end of any man's sanity. Keep them separated at all costs, and if they do end up together, run far and far away. Never return.


End file.
